When Help Doesn’t Help

May 5, 2023 | Christian Living | 6 comments

    Free Pie Apples photo and picture

     My mother struggles to eat breakfast before taking her daily medications. She loves McDonald’s fried apple pies so one day I took her one. An hour or so later she felt weak and faint. I was trying to help but I realized later the pie was too sweet to eat for breakfast. Fearing mom might have a more imminent health problem, I proceeded to discuss these concerns with her. She was greatly distressed and worried for hours before conversing with me on the matter. My heart ached for the trauma I caused to my sweet mother. God promised to take care of mom and me, but I hindered her that day.

     A woman in the Bible also interfered by trying to help. God had promised Abram and Sarai a son. After years of waiting, Sarai tried to hurry God’s plan by giving Abram her handmaid Hagar. Hagar conceived and gave birth to Ishmael, but he wasn’t the promised one. Sarai’s decision brought discord and turmoil to her family. Hagar despised Sarai who dealt harshly with her and Abram and Sarai argued over the matter.

     In God’s time, the promised son Isaac was born. Abraham made a great feast when Isaac was weaned. Ishmael mocked his half-brother. In anger Sarah banished Hagar and her son to the wilderness. Despite the discord, Jehovah used the seed of Abraham to produce many nations. The promised purpose for Isaac’s birth was fulfilled in spite of human error. 

     My eighty-three year old mother accepted my apology and thanked me for my caregiving. She has forgotten but the daily struggle to help Mother remains. Sarai’s interferrence resulted in years of conflict between Ishmael and Isaac’s offspring yet God kept His promise. Even when our help doesn’t help God’s promises still hold true. 

       For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen,….

2 Corinthians 1:20 a




  1. Angela Scheffel Garvin

    God is protecting and guarding you and your mom in spite of our human lackings….Hang in there my friend as you continue persevering in God’s great work of love!!!

    • Lisa Robbins

      Thank you Angela. This is a difficult task with many stress filled moments. It’s becoming harder to find writing time. But God has a purpose.

  2. Candyce

    You are a devoted caretaker doing a wonderful thing by caring for your mother so lovingly. She is lucky to have you. It’s not an easy job.

    God bless.

    • Lisa Robbins

      Thank you Candyce. Dementia is sometimes referred to as the 36 hour day. Now I know why. It is tough and finding time to write is more challending every day.

  3. Katherine Pasour

    Being a parent is hard, but I’ve found being a caregiver is more challenging. It’s especially hard when caring for our parents, as the roles we’ve had established so long become reversed. Adding dementia or any other chronic health condition multiplies the challenges. Thinking of you and praying.

    • Lisa Robbins

      Yes, caregiving is challenging especially with Dementia. I’m striving to find balance in my life and solutions to every new problem.The role reversal has been difficult for my Mom and me, but we are adjusting. Thank you for your prayers.


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