Mom needed full-time care, and I knew God was calling me to this ministry. I’d been made her power of attorney in September 2006. Mom delegated me to be her caregiver if her capacities failed her. The Holy Spirit led my wise mother before I knew the reality of my call to caregiving.

Through the years, Mom and I sometimes discussed the unknown future. She asked for no resuscitation, invasive procedures, or testing. She asked that I keep her home and not place her in a nursing home. I agreed.  Mom later lovingly told me to put her in a nursing facility if the task became too much. And she asked that I not be overcome with guilt.

When Mom’s dementia developed, and she was unsafe to live alone, I resisted the task at hand. God gently spoke and promised He’d take care of me and Mom. Mom was anxious and paranoid, so we installed cameras outside and inside her home. I made several daily trips to her house, managed her finances, etc. Still, this was not enough. The moving process was grueling. Sorting through Mom’s things and bringing her to live with me was crushing for her, myself, and my husband.

Mom became combative. The redundant questions, confusion, and lack of sleep compromised my well-being. Thank God for another caregiver, my niece Destiny Wilborn, and for services provided through Choices of Tennessee. Quality Home Health’s nurses, Speech Pathologist, and Physical Therapy team have been a tremendous help in this journey. Dr. Jonathon Allred was willing to prescribe medicines to meet Mom’s needs, and Alisha Masters is continuing this medical care.  

Dementia is devastating to all involved. The patience suffers tremendously as they lose mental capacity and the ability to care for themselves. Family is forced to cope, which can be emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. Emotions of anger, frustration, fear, doubt, grief, and sadness can consume both the loved one with dementia and concerned family members. I experienced periods of denial and survival before accepting our circumstances.

It took Mom, Michael, and me over a year to settle into our new life. I now see that loving and caring for my mother is a notable way to serve my Lord.

Jesus gave John the commission of caregiving as he hung on the cross. John received a high calling, and so have I. I’m forever changed. My faith is settled. My love is stronger. My trust is steadfast. My call is sure, and Mom is honored. Thank you, Jesus, for this unforeseen privilege.

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:14