….Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. John 11:32

My brother Greg lay motionless. Had I sought Hospice care too soon? Had I unwisely allowed massive dosages of medication to keep him in an unconscious state? I struggled with unanswered questions.

My brother lingered several weeks before he drew his last breath. Twelve years, four surgeries, and numerous treatments had not restricted his aggressive brain tumor. His last surgery left him bedridden and unable to make decisions. During this time my mother and I cared for him as I made decisions on his behalf. I was emotionally numb and spiritually void. Where was Jesus in all this suffering?

Mary and Martha’s brother Lazarus died, too, but they sent for Jesus. Although He loved them, He lingered behind. Both women questioned His prolonged absence, yet Mary fell at his feet weeping when Jesus arrived four days later. Jesus resurrected Lazarus from the dead and many on-looking Jews believed. God was glorified in Lazarus’s death and resurrection.

Unlike the account of Lazarus, where Jesus answered the sisters’ questions, I’m left with questions concerning my brother’s long illness and lingering death. Despite my questions, I trust that as God received glory from Lazarus’s death, he also received glory through Greg’s death. Because Jesus loves us, we can trust Him while caring for our dying loved ones, even when our grieving hearts are filled with unanswered questions.

WORDS OF TRUTH

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Romans 8:18